Chpt. 8: The Situation

Whenever you are thinking about things like friendship and popularity, it is important to consider the situation (Factor #3). The situation is like a wild card. It can make a big difference and change what you think should normally happen.

You probably know people who are really nice in private but who are really mean when they are around other people? This change in their personality is because of a change in the situation. Everyone acts a little different depending on if they are, for example, in church or at school. Always remember to think about the situation if you are trying to understand people.

The situation is so important that popularity is actually a result of the situation that exists in schools. There aren’t many other times in life where it is like being back in school and this is why “popularity” seems to disappear after grade 12.

Why Does “Popularity” Happen Only at School?

Attraction and Liking, the two feelings that cause popularity, are not unique to students. Parents, babies, and even old people feel Attraction and Liking the same way you do. So why is popularity tied to school? It is because of a special set of circumstances that make the situation special.

Circumstances that Make the Situation at School Special

Circumstance #1: There Are Only a Handful of Students

Every school has the same problem of trying to get lots of students through school every year. The end result is that you get to be with the same group of students year after year. That means that there are only so many people you can get to know. At the beginning of each grade, its the same people.

Once you leave school, you will meet more people than you can even imagine. Even at university or college, which is a little bit like high school, you meet new people almost every day. Until then, you are stuck with the same group.

Circumstance #2: Students Care About What Each Other Think

Scientists have proven that students really care about what their friends and peers think. In fact, sometimes students care about what other people think so much that they are willing to sacrifice things like friendship, winning, desire to help, and romance just to make sure that they are not seen as unpopular.

Everyone, even adults, cares about what other people think. It is a natural human need to have other people think “good” about you. It is just that students care a lot more.

Circumstance #3: Sex and Romance Are Very Important to Students

If money makes the adult world turn, it is sex that turns the world of students. As students hit puberty, boys and girls start to think about sex and romance all the time. As a result, relationships and dating become very important to students.

Sex is still important to adults but not as much. If you don’t believe me, you can ask your parents. Or, if that’s awkward, you can just look at the graph below.


The importance of sex decreases with age

Circumstance #4: Every Day You See the Same People

Everyday at school, you see the same people for many hours. As a result, school is a student’s entire life. Most students spend at least seven and a half hours at school Monday to Friday. With so much time spent there, what happens at school is very, very important.

Circumstance #5: Students Don’t Have as Much Experience as Adults

The simple truth is that everyone learns a lot about the world after graduating from grade 12. Until you have moved out, lived by yourself, had to work for money, and so on, you don’t know as much about the world as you will. Students just don’t have the experience to fully appreciate, for example:

  • How quickly you will meet other people after graduating.
  • How quickly, you will lose contact with you classmates.
  • How silly the whole “popularity” thing suddenly is after graduating.

Other Situations that Are Like School

School is not like any other time in your life. It is the only time when all of the above five circumstances above come together. It is these five circumstances that allow popularity to happen. That is why “popularity” is tied to school. It is because school has all five circumstances that popularity is able to exist. As soon as these circumstances are no longer there, popularity disappears. When you graduate, you will understand this. This is not because people change, it is because the situation changes.

There are some situations in life where the situation is similar to school. For example, in college the following are once again true:

  • There is only a certain number of people you get to meet in your class.
  • Students care about what their peers think.
  • Sex is really important.
  • You see the same people every day.

Really, the biggest difference between grade school and college is the fact that the students are a little older, have a little more experience, and don’t see each other quite as often. Even so, because the situation is so similar to grade school, something a lot like popularity happens again. Personally, I’ve been to medical school and in many ways, it was a lot like high school–all of the students from the Student Map were there.

Who You Are and What You Are are enough to explain the Student Map. But, the situation should never be forgotten. It is, after all, the situation that makes popularity possible.


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