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Rule 3: Special Attention Happens When You Want Someone

Rule 3:

If You Want Someone, You Pay Special Attention to Them

You automatically pay Special Attention to somebody if you want them or what they have.

There are many different types of Special Attention: doing favors; obsessing; getting close; calling; texting; gifting; liking; tone of voice; body language; etc…

Special Attention is like breathing. You can only try to control it.


Marker drawing of Romeo and Juliet - Input of Energy

Special Attention Is: Cognitive Intrusion | The Duff, 2015

When you can’t stop thinking about someone.

Cognitive Intrusion
Cognitive Intrusion
Cognitive Intrusion

Toby–It’s like two people in love.
Wesley–Yeah, like a midget jerking it.


Toby–Yeah, funny. Actually, that kind of reminds me of a song that I wrote a few weeks ago. I could play it for you later if you like?
Bianca–Yeah, totally.
Wesley–Yeah, totally. You know, I’ve been working on a poem myself. There once a boy named Toby Tucker Bianca Piper just wished he would…


Bianca–What are you doing to me out there? What…? You’re not into Wesley, are you?
Wesley–You bet your ass, you are. Who’s number one in your brain?
Bianca–No. Get out.
Wesley–This guy. This guy is. Yeah!


“Cognitive Intrusion” is what happens when someone you are attracted to invades your thoughts so that you can’t think of anything else.

Special Attention Is: Doing Favors | Carrie, 1976

When you can’t say “no” to helping someone you are attracted to.

You will do favors for people you want

Tommy–What’s up?
Sue–Can I talk to you?
Tommy–Right now?
Sue–It’s real important.

Sue–I want you to take Carrie White to the prom.


Tommy–Okay I’ll do it.


You will do favors for people you want and are attracted to.

Special Attention Is: Also What Happens to Adults | Glee, S1x1, 2009

Adults pay Special Attention to each other the same way students do.

Special Attention

In the pilot episode of the show Glee, Emma is attracted to Will. Because of her attraction, she shows Special Attention to him in many ways. Examples of the Special Attention that Emma shows to Will are:

  1. Making a point of saying “Hi” in the lunch room.
  2. Sharing her lunch with him.
  3. Helping chaperone his activities.
  4. Working to make him continue working as a teacher close to her.

Notice that they are adults. Special Attention happens to anyone as soon as they feel an attraction.

Link: Script


Special Attention is:

1) something that happens to adults;
2) finding ways to get close;
3) helping;
4) etc.

Special Attention Is: Curiosity | Rebel Without A Cause, 1955

You are curious about people you find attractive.

Special Attention is getting noticed

In this scene, Jim has already proven himself in a fight. He has gotten noticed by the pretty girl he is attracted to, Judy his next door neighbor. He has earned her curiosity and Special Attention by demonstrating, honesty, bravery, sincerity, kindness and perfect hair.


Judy–Is he your friend?
Plato–Yes. My best friend.
Judy–What’s he like?
Plato–Oh, I don’t know. You have to get to know him. He doesn’t say much but when he does you know he means it. He’s sincere.
Judy–Well, that’s the main thing–don’t you think so?

Link: Script


Special Attention is getting noticed and making people curious about you.

Special Attention Is: Love for Joey | Rock n’ Roll High School, 1979

You will work to be around people you are attracted to.

Special Attention can be subtle or, very, very, obvious.

Riff Randal is in love with Joey Ramone. During the entire movie she never tries to hide the Special Attention she shows him and makes it very, very obvious. Examples of her special attention are:

  1. Skipping school to camp out in line for tickets to his concert.
  2. Fighting to be first in line when a groupie steals her spot.
  3. Fantasizing about Joey before she gets into the shower.
  4. Desperately chasing tickets by assaulting a stranger and stealing a phone from him.
  5. Eagerly accepting an opportunity to meat him.
  6. Fighting through a crowd to be  near him on stage.

Sometimes people hide their Special Attention. Sometimes they make it very, very obvious.

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